Making your guestlist

Hello and happy monday to all!

When it comes to making your guestlist, I suggest you just sit down with your fiancé and each make a list of which family members and friends you would like to invite. You may want to agree on an approximate number of people before you start, just so you know where to set your limits (invite only close family and friends, invite every 3rd cousin and all co-workers from your entire company).

At this point, you may have to argue. Personnally, when starting our guestlist, my husband and I did not see eye-to-eye on the number of guests we wanted. He wanted the über-intimate type of wedding, with just our parents and one or two friends present. That made absolutely no sense at all to me, so we talked about it for a while, and I won. Sorry babe, hate to put it that way, but it is what it is. And on a nicer note, I don't think my demands were out of line. I didn't want 300 people there, but I wanted our close family and good friends there. In the end, our guestlist was about 55 to 60 people. However, keep in mind that not everyone can make it. We ended up with 45 people coming.

After you both make your initial list, share them with your significant other, and see if you agree on all the guests. I cannot stress the importance of being tactful at this point. You don't want to start off with "Oh god, we can't invite your grandma, her face makes me want to puke." or "Steve? REAAAaaaaaaally? Oh noooooo."
Try to be understanding of your fiancé's family and friends and remember, you don't have to sit with or talk a lot with most of them. Avoid having people who don't like each other and who might cause tension or even a scene. That may be impossible if your families don't get along, in which case you will have to sit them down (SEPARATELY) and talk with them, make clear that you want NO drama and you expect everyone to be on their best behaviour, even if they only discuss the weather for the entire meal.

Another hard thing you may want to prepare for is having to tell people that they are not invited. That happens randomly, like when you write a Facebook status about going dress-shopping and an old friend you haven't seen in 4 years writes "You better invite me!" and you have to send them a private message to explain that you are not having a big wedding with all friends from college and so-on... Just a little heads-up!

Alright girls, get to the list-making! Next week, we talk about ring shopping!!

Have a good week :)

Choosing a caterer or menu

Good morning all!

Now this is one of the GREATEST parts of planning a wedding. Don't you think? You get to shop around for food, and try things for freeeeee! No, seriously, if you ask caterers or restaurants for sample menus, they will do it. What's one free meal for two when you bring them business for 60, 100, 150 people?

Of course, the first step is to check with the person in charge of your reception hall. If it's a hotel, sometimes they have their own chef who had exclusivity, or who offers interesting options. If it's a restaurant, you will have to discuss menu options there. But if it is a place with no assigned chef, you can first ask the manager if they have someone to recommend (often they do) or shop around yourself.

If you shop around yourself, I suggest asking friends and family members for suggestions, if they know anyone. We all have a friend or cousin who has triple our friends on Facebook and who always seem to know someone in every possible context. It's a great way to find people who have less fancy websites or advertising but are reliable (since someone you know and trust recommended them) and perhaps cheaper.

Otherwise, the internet is a great source of information. Don't hesitate to make calls to ask for more information, but before that, prepare yourself. Think about what you need to know so that you are prepared to ask the right questions. For instance, does your reception hall have chairs and tables and cutlery or should you ask the caterer if they have their own they can bring? How much would that cost? Also, do they provide alcohol? Do they include service with waiters? Do they charge for bottle-opening or cake-cutting? Can they prepare special options for vegetarians, or halal options for muslims, or pureed food for your grandma? (ok, that one's just a joke)

So think about all of these things, and please, PLEASE, include the groom-to-be in this part of preparations! My husband was a nervous wreck for an entire year while we planned our wedding, and it made him even more nervous to come along for shopping or location-scouting, but when food was involved, he suddenly found himself much more interested! This is a part of planning men can enjoy, and their opinion should matter. After all, there will be other men attending your wedding, so there should be "manly food" available to them.

Try having at least two choices for main courses. The more your budget increases, the more options your caterer/chef can offer you. Have at least one fish/vegetarian option. No need to go overboard and offer gluten-free or low-fat options for your picky friends. It's not their day, it's yours.
At my wedding, the reception hall came with a very renowned chef, and we had no trouble choosing the menu. As for the cake, we had the option of dealing with their pastry chef or bringing our own cake, but with a cake-cutting fee. We chose to bring our own, as my sister had a friend to recommend.
Obviously, we asked to try the food before, and they scheduled us for a sample dinner. It was so good, and we had a great free date a few months before the wedding. The only awkward thing is that since you don't pay, you don't know how to act when you leave. Let me explain: after coffee, my fiancé and I looked at each other, and we sort of said "Well, soooo... we don't ask for a bill, since it's free... should we tip them? Yes, I guess, because we did get service... And then what? We just walk out?". That was strange. But I greatly recommend the food sampling experience, since chances are you'll be so nervous on your wedding day, you won't be able to eat much.

We started out with little canapés (such as salmon mousse and other little crackers with fancy things, I can't remember, I was too nervous to eat anyways) with champaign for toasting. Then we sat down for a nice little mixed salad with a blackberry and porto vinaigrette, and for the main course we had a choice of Oven-roasted chicken supreme with applesauce, honey, rosemary and almonds or Roasted salmon with bubbly wine butter, lemon and basil. For desert we had our fantastic cake, which was chocolate and coffee, with espresso-nutella icing. YUM!

Here are pictures of the salmon, and of the cake with cake toppers. It's great, because our cake artist really made them look like us. Her name is Tram, and her company is Tramie's Kitchen. You can see her work on www.flickr.com/photos/tramieskitchen/ or bakingatmidnight.blogspot.com and you can contact her via email ar tramie_s_kitchen@hotmail.com. We highly recommend her if you live in the Montreal area!

 Photo by JP Lessard: http://www.jpl-photography.com

Photo by JP Lessard: http://www.jpl-photography.com


Well, this is all the wisdom I have to impart today, see you next week when we discuss the Guestlist!!!


Have a good week xxxxx

Bridesmaids and groomsmen attire

Hi there!

Today, we shall talk about shopping for bridesmaids and groomsmen attire.

The first thing you should make clear with your crowd is whether you will be paying for the dresses and suits or whether they are expected to buy their own. If you are not paying, you will want to make sure to work within each person’s budget and not impose too much. This can be a delicate manner.

I myself was not able to pay for my girls’ dresses, so I made sure to check with the three girls individually in order not to go over what they felt was a reasonable price to pay. Then, I took them all shopping together so we could find dresses in the shades I wanted, but in cuts they liked and felt comfortable in. It was not an easy task! As I said, I had three bridesmaids. My sister, the maid of honor, is very tall and thin. My husband’s best friend is small and petite like me, and my best friend is medium height but has a much bigger bust than the two other girls. So finding a dress that suited every girl was quite a challenge!

It took us a few stores and an open mind, but we found something nice. I had originally wanted them to wear charcoal gray dresses, but we didn’t find many. They ended up buying nice off-white dresses with black and grey accents and flower designs (see photo below) which suited all three nicely. They all felt comfortable, cute, and since we didn’t buy bridesmaid dresses from a bridal store, they are dresses that can be worn again in a different context. Here is a picture of me, my husband (in the middle) and our three bridesmaids and one groomsman.

Photo by JP Lessard: http://www.jpl-photography.com

As for our groomsman, we just asked that he wear a suit, and we let him choose his style and colours. If you have many guys, you may want to coordinate the looks. I love how matchy some wedding attendants are, like when guys all have the same ties and corsages, which match the bridesmaids’ dresses.

If you shop online for bridesmaid dresses, here are two websites which offer lots of options for designs and colours.

One is David’s Bridal: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Bridal-Party
I find they have so many styles and colours that you can be really creative and perhaps mix and match dress cuts while still being coordinated by colour. For example:

The other is Alfred Angelo: http://www.alfredangelobridal.ca/
I very much like the shapes of the dresses and they seem to be of good quality. Here is a photo:

And finally, remember not to become a bridezilla during this process. In the end, you want to keep your friends and it's okay if they don't all have matching shoes or jewellery. Have fun with them and remember, they could put you in a big pouffy snot-coloured dress when they get married if they hold a grudge. 

Next week, we talk fooooood! 

xoxox

Finding the right person to marry you..

So at this point, you should know who the person you want to marry is.
BUT, you may not know who you want to have marry the both of you!

There are a few options here. Those who belong to a church probably have a priest they know and trust to perform their ceremony. If you and your fiancé belong to different churches, you may have to have difficult conversations, which may involve your parents and in-laws. Try being open-minded, compromising and consider having two ceremonies to make everyone happy.

If you aren't religious, you can have a civil marriage. You can choose to have it in court or hire someone to perform your ceremony at a different venue.

Another option is to have a friend or family member marry you. Depending on the law of the country you are living in, there are different procedures to follow. Here in Quebec, Canada, there are certain professions that allow performing legal marriages: court clerks, notaries, mayors. But most people can be ordained for a day to marry someone they know and care about. It can be special to have a friend or relative marry you, because they know you well and can personalize the ceremony.

Whichever option you choose, make sure to contact the person you want to have perform your ceremony a few months in advance, because they may be booked way ahead of time. Also, take the time to sit down with that person and your fiancé, to talk about the type of ceremony you want. Usually, it can be adapted to include things you want, such as readings, or little traditions, such as sand ceremony or candle ceremony.

Next week, we talk about shopping for bridesmaids and groomsmen attire !

Have a great week girls!
xoxox

Dress shopping

The fun begins!

Here is the part all brides look forward to. Many rules apply, and I’m sure you’ve heard some (from friends, family, tv shows…). So I will sum up my wisdom in the Ultimate Top Four Rules for Dress Shopping:

1. Shop online before you go to stores. Figure out what styles, shapes, fabrics and details you like and what you think your body-type would look best in.
   
   
2. Choose wisely when it comes to the people accompanying you. It is recommended to choose few people (2 to 3 max) and to bring people whose opinion matter to you, but who are diplomatic and not judgmental. It is unpleasant to hear your tactless best friend or opinionated future mother-in-law criticize your choices.
   
   
3. Do not try on too many dresses, you’ll end up confused and unable to make a decision. It’s not because you or your mother cries that a dress is “The One”. If you feel happy and beautiful, that’s fine too.
   
   
4. Listen to yourself. It can be very hard to choose a dress according to your standards if your crew likes different styles, but you know what suits you best and what your fiancé will like to see you in as well. Trust yourself and don’t hesitate to tell friends and family that you would like them to support your decision even if it wouldn’t have been their choice.

 As for my dress shopping experience, well I spent countless hours on the internet looking at a million and a half dresses, and chose four that I wanted to try on at the store. I tried different styles to satisfy my curiosity of what I might look like in them, and also tried a fifth model suggested by the salesgirl. I went with my sister and best friend (my two bridesmaids) and they were very clear on their opinions (a little too much sometimes). But the dress I chose was my favourite from the start, and when they both said that it was without a doubt their favourite too, I knew it was mine.  

My favourite designer is Maggie Sottero (www.maggiesottero.com) and my dress is from this designer. Here is is, on me!

Next step... location scouting!

Happy Thursday to all!

This is where is really begins. After having taken time to think about what kind of wedding you and your fiancé want, and thinking of ambiance and colors, it’s time to get to the real stuff!

There are two things you need to figure out 9 months to 1 year prior to your wedding date. The location and the bridal gown shopping. It is crucial to do this at least nine months before, for the following reasons. Weddings are a huge business, especially in the summer, and places get booked very quickly. So if you want to find a great location for either the ceremony or the reception, you will want to look around and book as early as possible for your peace of mind. As for the dress shopping, bridal gowns take months to make and adjust, so when you decided to purchase one, they will need many months to order your dress in your size and then adjust it perfectly to your figure.

Today, we will focus on the search for your ideal location, and on next Tuesday, I will post about the dress shopping.

So… location! One thing that will surely influence your choice of ceremony hall is whether your ceremony will be religious or not. If you are having a religious ceremony, chances are you will do it in a church or other house of worship. You can also choose to have a religious ceremony outside or in a different setting, depending on what your officiant will agree to. If you are having a religious ceremony, you probably already have a pastor or priest from your church or your fiancé’s that you can ask to marry you.

If you are having a civil ceremony, the choice of location is unlimited. You can have it indoors or outdoors, in a family’s house or rent a hall…

Photo by Kiorrik http://kiorrik.deviantart.com/

Photo by Cjosh: http://cjosh.deviantart.com/

And then there is the reception hall, which applies for everyone. There are many factors to consider in making your decision. You can, once again, have it outdoors or in tents outside. You can rent a hall and have a caterer, which is great since you get to really personalize your menu and decorate to your liking. Be careful though, it can get expensive quickly! You can choose to rent a restaurant, which had some advantages since it is already decorated, and you will also save a lot since they already have a cook, waiters, chairs and tables, tablecloths, silver and plates…

As for my wise self, I had a non-religious ceremony. I visited a lot of places in Montreal, where I live. I chose to have both my ceremony and reception in the same place, which was easier for guests. I thought especially of my 95 year-old grandma, who cannot get around very easily, and I wanted her to be able to enjoy the day and not have be tired from moving from one place to the next.

Here is a panorama of the part of the room in which we had the reception.

Photo by JP Lessard: http://www.jpl-photography.com

Make sure to ask lots of questions when visiting places you are interested in. The cost (and the hidden costs, such as opening bottles of wine or cutting the cake), the limitations (some places will close at a certain hour or cannot have loud music too late because of neighbors), what is included and what isn’t, what type of décor you can bring or not (some places will not allow candles because it is a fire hazard)…

Since no one can think of everything, bring someone along. My fiancé was very busy with school last year when I started locating scouting, so I asked my mom to come with me. She proved to be a very useful companion, offering suggestions and asking questions I hadn’t thought of. A well-organised friend can also be of great assistance. 

That's all for now, have a great week-end, and for Canadians out there, a great Thanksgiving !

Happy Monday, brides-to-be!

Time has come to think about the general ambiance you would like for your wedding. Do you want something formal, semi-formal, casual? Romantic, elegant, original? Think of the vibe you want your guests to feel.

Think about picking colors to guide your search throughout the months of planning and shopping. In order for your wedding to look put together, you will want to choose one or two specific colors for decorations, flowers, bridesmaid gowns, accessories, etc. 

Personally, I changed ideas about 37 times before I actually settled on my theme colors. First, I wanted blue and purple, as those are two colors that go well with my skin tone and hair color. I thought it would be fun to have some bridesmaids in blue and others in purple. But then when I chose my wedding gown, which is champagne-coloured with a vintage pink bow, I realized that blue and purple didn’t match anymore. Then I thought of two colors that would work with my dress: rich chocolate brown and apple green. All seemed fine until I thought of the guys (groom and groomsmen). Brown suits have been out of style for at least two decades, and there is no way to match guys in black and girls in brown! Finally, I decided on light pink and charcoal grey. It was the perfect choice and easy to coordinate. Here is a picture of the detail on my wedding cake which shows the colors.

Photo by JP Lessard: http://www.jpl-photography.com

On a more hilarious note, some people have themes, and as I find this very funny, I would like to include a few ideas to add to your “DON’T GO THERE” list:

-        -  Halloween: Pumpkins and dark makeup are not the ambiance I’d go for

-         - Vampires: The obsession with Twilight has lasted long enough, and blood is not romantic

-         - Zombies: Come on, zombie walks or as Halloween costumes are funny, but do you really want your kids to traumatize their friends when they look at your photo album in kindergarten?

-         - Star trek: it is far too common, search the internet and you’ll be surprised/nauseated!

-         - Disney: it’s cool to have dreams when you’re a kid but wearing butterfly wings is just retarded

-         - Animal: there are no words to describe this, so I will include a photo which explains just how pathetic this can get.

That’s all for now, have a great week! I may post sooner than next Monday if my schedule allows for some writing time.

Keep coming and feel free to comment!